have any you ever wished that you're dead ? i dont know why, but as for now, this very moment, i do not know why that im feeling exactly like that. as if im better off if im dead. at this very particular moment as im typing this post, i just feel like i want to be dead. then there'll be no more problems, nothing to think about, no tv to watch, no exams, no one to tell you this and dead, oopps, i meant to type that. this and that. i dont want to, but i think i might want a slow and un-painful death. if i were going to die la, i dont want. slow as then i would have the chance to say my last goodbyes to those i love the most : family, fara and friends. and i would also have the time to apologise to people and also repent on all the sins i'd done.
but then again, the thought of dying is scary, then i'll be left alone, no one there with me, cramped up in a small place six feet under the ground. and theres a lot of things that i havent done yet. things that would make you feel like you have lived your life. things like having a job, getting married, have kids, sex. and wonder, if one were to die of an accident, or died in a fire, then it'll be a very painful death, and fast. and you wont have any time to do anything. the next thing you know, you're already in the afterlife. scary scary scary.
so, after reconsidering, i actually i dont want to die as yet. and btw, i am missing my girlfriend so damn much. f-word. i truly miss her much.
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