feelings at half past four in the morning...

and sometimes, ouh, let me rephrase that. and always, life is unfair. unfair unfair unfair. damn, its unfair !!! U.N.F.A.I.R. there. unfair. okay. done.

toodles.

not so cheerio now eh ?

feelings at 3 in the morning..

have any you ever wished that you're dead ? i dont know why, but as for now, this very moment, i do not know why that im feeling exactly like that. as if im better off if im dead. at this very particular moment as im typing this post, i just feel like i want to be dead. then there'll be no more problems, nothing to think about, no tv to watch, no exams, no one to tell you this and dead, oopps, i meant to type that. this and that. i dont want to, but i think i might want a slow and un-painful death. if i were going to die la, i dont want. slow as then i would have the chance to say my last goodbyes to those i love the most : family, fara and friends. and i would also have the time to apologise to people and also repent on all the sins i'd done.

but then again, the thought of dying is scary, then i'll be left alone, no one there with me, cramped up in a small place six feet under the ground. and theres a lot of things that i havent done yet. things that would make you feel like you have lived your life. things like having a job, getting married, have kids, sex. and wonder, if one were to die of an accident, or died in a fire, then it'll be a very painful death, and fast. and you wont have any time to do anything. the next thing you know, you're already in the afterlife. scary scary scary.

so, after reconsidering, i actually i dont want to die as yet. and btw, i am missing my girlfriend so damn much. f-word. i truly miss her much.

back to batu pahat !!

aha. am now going back to batu pahat. everybody is waiting downstairs. i am the one left upstairs. got to go. it'll be about 2/3 days without internet for me !!

toodles.

selamat hari raya again !!

late night sleep. or early morning ?

its 7 a.m and still im not asleep. i must be crazy. night !! oh ? morning ?

and its a wrap.. ramadhan it is.

guess what. time flies. time flies fast. real fast, super duper fast. before we knew it, its already been a month, and it seems like it was only last week that we started the fasting month, and now, its all coming to an end. ramadhan is left with another day, and syawal is awaiting. and guess what, i havent studied a lot for the finals. die. dead meat. zilch. KO. hasta la vista baby. D.E.A.D. will be going back to batu pahat this evening, earlier than expected, thought was going to go back there on the 2nd of raya. this raya would be the same as the raya before. devastating and un-good. can only celebrate half-heartedly as the other half would be concentrating on the finals which i havent been able to do so. so this is all.

toodles.

cheerio.

have a Selamat Hari Raya and Maaf Zahir Batin to all. may you guys have a good raya this year and may you guys forgive all my sins and wrong-doings.

damn it

i was bloghopping and got to a blogger's blog that put up a post on stereograms. i searched it on the net, tried it myself, and to my dismay, i cant look at stereograms. i dont see anything. dang !!

toodles.

killing time while waiting for berbuka.

oh, im shocked O_O

i didnt realise that my last post was that long, i thought it was long but never thought of long-long. sorry guys if its too long, even if any care to read. thanks to those who patiently read it from top to bottom. you guys/gals are the best !!

toodles,

cheerio..

my not-so-birthday-like birthday celebration

well, as i said in the previous post, it was my birthday last thursday. first thing that i got for my birthday is a birthday call from my gf, fara. she called me from jasin, well, she usually calls me every night, but that night she called and waited till the clock strikes 12. as the clock strikes 12, she sang happy birthday to me, once and i ask her to repeat it again. =) so sweet of her to sing to me, not once but twice !! sorry i was like a bit like gloomy bee, i was as happy as i could be, but as people were doing their stuffs, i dont really want to bother them much. thanx to you for the birthday song and the birthday wish bee.

next, i celebrated it with my friends, thought i was gonna get beaten up a bit by them, but then, all of them were busy doing tutorials and such. so i brought up a pack of extra big twisties and we ate and chatted. we gave out teka-teki/word puzzles to others for them to answer. some are kind of funny, and some are quite downright dumb. it was fun. while the others doze off to la-la land, me and ajiep, as usual chit chatted our way through the night. topics ranging from girls, to football and everything else we discussed. and about a quarter to 4, ajiep decided to board the plane to la-la land as the others did, and i decided to stay awake to wake the guys up for sahur as theres only 30-mins of sleep left if were to sleep. perform my prayers and lie back on the mattress, the clock on my ipod showed it was 0405 hrs the last time i check the time as i was going to enjoy music for me to wait for the clock to show 4.30 a.m. but that were not to happen, because the next time i checked for the time, it was 0905 hrs. and had missed 2 lectures. next was algebra tutorial and theres a quiz, told myself that i can benefit from another few minutes of sleep before heading off to class, so i dozed off again to la-la land only to wake up in full anger and dismay as the clock is showing its already 1015 hrs. and it would take me at least 25 minutes to get my shower and get to class, and by that time it will already be 1040 hrs, and what shall i say to my tutor ? i went to the office ? as i was in anger of not going to class and missing the quiz, i went straight down for my shower. as i got ready, i was wondering whether i should skip my 2 hour english class too. but as i'd skipped before i was afraid that i couldnt enter the exams so i decided to go to class. and damn english was boring. kind of not so good day for a birthday, waking up late, started the day with anger, having a boring english class. a good thing i got to get a ride back to college with atikah. thanx !!

so, i arrived at college, change my clothes and went up to the room where i always hang out. and guess what, instead of cherishing that its my birthday, i went straight to la-la land, continuing the dream that got to an abrupt end this morning, only to wake up at around 5 p.m as mom is coming to hand me the chicken rices that she bought for me and the gang. and mom said that my birthday dinner cum celebration could be on sunday as Kelana Seafood is fully-booked for friday and saturday, and i said it was okay, no hurry needed.

the interesting thing is that i got more birthday wishes than i had ever thought of getting. its not much but still more than i had expected. it makes me happy to know that there are people who actually care to wish me a happy birthday on my birthday. thanks a lot guys, i really appreciated it so so much. i really do, thanks a lot. a whole lot of lot. you guys are the best of friends that a friend can have. =) happy me. thanks again. and thanks to my cousins as well !

okay on to the next day, friday, it was a bit better than thursday. missed lectures again but got to the ever-boring english class again because i figured since this is the last week of english classes, my teacher should be giving back the essay that we had done before as homework today. so i went to class just for the sake of getting back my essay and wanting to know my marks. and guess what, i got a B-, damn, kind of frustrating to know that i got a B-, but still its gives me satisfaction to know that i, well at least i think, that i got the highest grade in class. teacher asked me whether i wanted to read my essay out loud to the whole class, and i just made a gesture which goes like, "why not ?". so i ended up reading my essay to the whole class, =P and, eventhough there are a few glithches in the essay, i think it sounded pretty well. but still boring i think, thats what ajiep thought of it. haha. went back to college straight after english class with a bit of pride that im still feeling by getting to read my essay to the whole class and straight for friday prayers. slept after prayers only to be woken up by a call from my mum at around 1515 hrs saying that she's on the way to pick me up from college. i went down to my room and packed my dirty laundry and stuffs and went straight down to wait for mum, as i reached the gazebo at the parking lot, i watched the clock on my phone and it showed 1547 hrs if im not mistaken. waited and waited and waited and mum arrived at about 1620 hrs. pisses me off, as i had to wait about 30 mins for her to arrive. got in the car, kept quiet and slept all the way home.

as i was already at home, i was online and checking my emails and friendster and stuffs when my mum suddenly knocked on my door and told me to get ready to go to Hilton Hotel at KL Sentral for my birthday celebration cum dinner cum buka puasa. i am one who dont really like to know things at the last minute, especially stuffs like these, ive put away all my available jeans and pants to be washed as i thought that the dinner was going to be on sunday and by that time, all my jeans and pants would be washed and dried. with no pants to wear, and only shorts available, i tried my luck with them. but was a bad choice. had to go back to change, and guess what, i had to wear baju melayu to the place for my birthday celebration. i was all moody and glum cause i were pissed of not being told a whole lot earlier about the dinner as i thought it was going to be on sunday and decided to stay quiet all the while, making faces and such. but then, they dont really care actually. haha. arrived there around 1930 hrs way past buka puasa and i went straight to find some food to eat. the place is nice, everything is freash, eventhough they have buffet, all those things are done in a small portion and thus it will always be fresh and hot. i tried a few things ive never eaten before there. as i was going for my 2nd round of buffet helping, i saw thisseafood section, where there are oysters, salmon, mussels, tuna and shrimps available, and mind you, these are fresh, not a single one of em is cooked. so, the adventurous part of me decided to try out new food, food ive never consumed before. so, i took small piece of salmon, a small shrimp, a small mussel, and a small oyster. went back to the table and first i tried the salmon, it was kind of okay, a bit spongy i think. next it was the mussels, ive eaten them before but never an uncooked one. put some dressing on it and put it straight in my mouth. it tastes kind of weird, and as if it were full of sand, it felt grainy eating that thing. next on the list was the oyster, this would be the first time ever i tried an oyster, as the smell was kind of unpleasant and fishy, i put a blob of dressing on it, and some salty soy sauce on it, and scooped it into my mouth. my first reaction after getting it inside my mouth is to throw it back out immediately, it tasted all fishy, not fish-like fishy, its fishy-fishy. yucks. it almost made me not to eat anything else after that. i cant handle oysters anymore. i dont like it !! note to self : next time, dont take anymore oysters.

the best part of the buffet is the chocolate fountain that was placed at the dessert section, it was melted chocolate, flowing from top to bottom, next to it is an array of dessert that can be eaten with chocolate, those available are cut-into-cubes-honeydews, top-flattened-strawberries, striped marshmallows and custard balls(i think it is). i took a stick?(lidi) and poked it through a marshmallow and another one goes through a strawberry, let both of those be covered by the flowing chocolate, and back to my table to eat it. it was absolutely and extremely good. had a handful of chocolate covered dessert that night. simply irresistable. got a perfume from my sis and bros. giorgio armani city glam. thanks to them for the gift. now i actually have my own perfume. went back home with most of the pissed-off me side had subsided. and the bill was enormous, gigantic i tell you. its kin of way expensive. i was astonished to look at the total amount on the bill as my dad was going to pay for it, but the amount is a secret. =) thanks dad for a lovely dinner eventhough i was kind of pissed at knowing about it at the eleventh hour.

all in all, it was a kind-of happy happy birthday to me. got wishes from dearest friends and family, 2 gifts up to the time im typing this post, with one of them can be thrown out of the picture as it was a piece of paper with the writing "HADIAH" on it which is Malay for present. ajiep gave it, thanx a lot ajiep =p. well, better get to football watching now, manchester united had won against wigan, and now chelsea is playing reading. hoping for a big upset and reading to win against chelsea. away i go.

toodles, cheerio.

=P

people of the world who happens to read my blog, i have turned 18 years old !! =P

thursday, 12th October 2006, my 18th birthday and i celebrated it with friends at college. mom offered to buy chicken rice for the gang and we buka puasa together with all of us eating chicken rice.

other than that, im now 18, the age where im considered to be an adult i think ? im at the very bottom of the legal age limit to do stuffs that before this was illegal to be done. watching 18+ rated movies is one of em, as said by fara.

cant really put up a long post now, got to go to bed, its 0330 hours and i need my sleep and mom told me about 4 hours ago to sleeo early tonite. so i'll update more tomorrow i think, after i woke up from my most needed sleep.

cheerio, haf fun, great day !

cant wait to put up the post bout my buka puasa cum birthday celebration just now. but i have to wait. laters.

another hour in the computer lab and another hour wasted due to attending this computer class. am not going to do anything eventhough im in here in the computer lab, the mere reason for me to attend this class is because of i have to sign my attendance and that the internet here is free, the only place here in UM that gives free internet. others, i would have to pay to use the internet. there's internet at home, but there's only time for game playing at home. no time to utter out my thoughts.

actually i have to go now, am learning a software today. nice !! microsoft frontpage.

toodles.

cheerio.

shits, we need to hand in our diskettes today. i dont have any on me. fuck !!! even if i have it, i dont have any thing in it.

another hour in the computer lab and another hour wasted due to attending this computer class. am not going to do anything eventhough im in here in the computer lab, the mere reason for me to attend this class is because of i have to sign my attendance and that the internet here is free, the only place here in UM that gives free internet. others, i would have to pay to use the internet. there's internet at home, but there's only time for game playing at home. no time to utter out my thoughts.

actually i have to go now, am learning a software today. nice !! microsoft frontpage.

toodles.

cheerio.